I've never been aware of why the idea of 'creating' seems to create such anxiety within me. There is this intimidation and this understanding [ I believe] that once you begin to unravel and truly dig into something, it becomes quite hard to turn back. I've always had this sense of awe when viewing artists who use different mediums create works of art that aren't 'obvious.' That they too have gone through a process of unveiling and destructing to become such profound iconoclasts. These last few months I've tried to deny this awareness. This 'coping' mechanism unfortunately is in no way successful, hence the anxiety. You will find that in these diary entries are such struggles. These desires to move forward and explore what excites and inspires me and this brand and with this the often louder fear of exposure. This tug of war. I've added this phenomenal piece by one of the most inspiring composers that allow me to fall into a creative space. It is from one of favorite films / visual works of art. No words.